Monday, June 26, 2006

I'm crazy...

I don't know how to get this feeling out of me.

After watching the salsa competition at Palawan last night, I felt immediate alienation and inferior complex. I felt like a fat bull among the countless swans. That goes without saying, all the lady contestants were so hot and sexy. I pathetically look down at the salsa shoes I was wearing, and looked up at all those socialling and competiting when they're so new to salsa. I'm not even half there. I don't know if it's self pity, but I felt so sad. Some old friends, when met, it felt nice that they remembered you, but some just simply forgotten you. It's like you're no longer needed. I think the problem could be me. There's nothing to do with another people. Maybe this scene is no longer for me or I'm just waiting my someone to get me going. Else I guess, I've to see other options of interest perhaps.

Life has been tough. It has always been for me. Though graduated and should be happily working, yet I still feel sad. There was no time for me to do so many things. I have yet to continue my piano, cook for at least my mom, learn all about make up and skin care, find the time to effectively shed off some pounds and tone up.

Now also got to live up to parents expectations and some future stuff. I'm just so tired. I can't find happy things here expect whenever I'm overseas. This is nuts I know. It feel like it's going to tumble down one day and I wonder who is going to be there when it comes.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

dun be crazy. your salsa friends do remember you. We hope you still keep in contact with us and come dancing with us too someday =)

--- Tiong Bahru

marie said...

Hey girl... don't be so upset... I'm sure friends/people do remember you - most of the time, it's the other party wondering if you remember them and for the fear of not being remembered, they don't approach you...

There are always things you'd want to do, to catch up on, to learn and to accomplish, but time has it's limits and well, it's really not easy to find all the time for it all. So don't worry about it, slowly, you'll find the time you want, just don't worry about wanting to do so much at one time. It only serves to make you really stressed up.

Just remember, there was never a cloud the sun didn't shine through. Try to let things go and look at things in a relaxed way and you'll find that life is much happier. =)

silentboi said...

Hey Alethea, first time drop by your blog. Just wanna say something, there is so many things in life that cannot be finished..just do what you feel best..and enjoy!