Saturday, October 08, 2005

What on earth am I thinking?

Haiya... Just because of one BIG BIG problem with my server made me think of all those stupid things in the past. I wasn't counting my blessings. :)

I was good in a lot of things back in Secondary school. I was good in Maths. Both A and E maths. I was good in Geography and Science too. But I was too stupid in chinese, history and literature, which pulled everything down. Haha... I guess I hate writing. :P

I was a good student too! I never broke any school rules, except for the day I brought a pager to school for the first time and got caught by my chemistry teacher and I CRIED! HAHA... I was never caught for short skirt, nor late for school nor long nails nor make up, nor hair nor socks, nor shoes. I was the perfect good student but not good enough to be a school prefect because I wasn't intellegent enough and perhaps a lot of other qualities I lack. Haha... I don't care. :)

I won't say that I didn't achieve anything. I won 2 gold swimming interclass awards. A couple of medals from NCC. Went round island canoeing. I had a lot of fun then. Hanging out with my NCC buddies, doing crap with my classmates. I wasn't popular nor vocal in sec 1 and 2. Things were starting to heat up in Sec 3 and I guess I got more popular in Sec 4. In Sec 4, I guess I was the girl who everyone refered to as "The girl who played the piano piece on Teacher's day". The song I played was "Power of Love" by Celion Dion. I remembered my class stood up from the group and gave a big applause. I was embarrassed, shy, happy. All sort of mixed feelings. I even heard that Miss Kim, yes, the discipline mistress then, cried. A few other teachers were touched too, especially the ones who taught me. Miss Sie Siok Hui and Miss Sie Ha Wai had many praises for me. I was happy. It seemed that day that every teacher in the staff room wanted to know who is that mysterious girl. Haha... I didn't make that fact out. It was Miss Sie who told me. I was shy and happy but reminded quiet about the whole event. At least, I made my teachers felt special that day.

Ok, the other thing was I came back as a CLT right? Well, I guess it wasn't about me trying to achieve something for myself. It was about helping out and feeling good. Though no awards etc... But I felt happy that there were people around me, fellow CLTs and cadets who came up to me and tell me things that I was good then. I may not have done everything that pleases everyone, then again, I can't please everyone. During camps, I can only protect my girls from getting bullied by CLTs internally. Did my best to help my girls and whoever was under me get through whatever course they went. I really apologise for not going for all the camps, projects didn't allow me to. And I felt worse when a good cadet out of no where got a 3rd SGT for nothing. There was nothing I could do about that since I wasn't in the camp, not my authority to do so. There were so many things I wanted to do, but I couldn't. Sometimes I want to come back as an officer and make things right. The way it should be. But I'm so out of it now, yet there's so much of me still thinking about NCC.

It's been so long since I left NCC and yet I remember quite a number of details. The old me hasn't quite left it yet. I guess it's time for a reunion with everyone. Past is the Past... Like Marie said, no point dwelling on the past.

I must admit that I'm in a better mood today. Finished my last assignment for the semester. And NO, I do not feel any more relaxed. I'm having headaches. I still haven't solve my server problem. BIG MAJOR HEADACHE.

Oh, I am still counting what I'm good at. :D Which is more to come! Maybe you can tell me what I'm good at. ;)

1 comment:

[m@r!e] said...

You're good at cooking! You're good at listening! You're a very understanding person! See!!! Good points! =)