I know how you guys feel about the whole issue about what I wrote in my past few blogs. I have been extremly stress out. Some of you may know, I don't show that I'm stress. But the fact is that when I'm stress, I start to think a lot of silly things.
I just handed in 5 essays in 4 weeks. One of it is a research paper, the others are analytical essays. AH! And now, I'm stuck with programming a whole website myself. It's an online DVD rental website. You can rent DVD online and get it delivered to your door step. And I did most of it all by myself. No help from anyone. He helped me a little on the logic. And my partner is stuck with her part of the assignment. You guys can go and take a look at it after I've completed the assignment. It looks simple, but damn hell lot of coding beneath the screens you see. It has already taken me 2 weeks to learn about the language and coding the website and finishing my part of the assignment. And now I have to help my partner to finish her part of the assignment. And the assignment is due today! AH!!! Now you know why I want to die badly. I seriously think that I'm not superwoman to complete all by today. :S
In fact, he has been supporting me with my school work. Not that he helped me to do, but he was pushing me to finish off my work. His character is different from mine. He shows his stress by saying a lot of things which I took it to heart. Hence making me feel low. He has been working on an Industrial Project all by himself. Yes, it's programming. IT friends should know that programming can be a killer. And yeah, he sleeps 5am every morning and wakes up at 11am. And I still get some healing hugs whenever both of us are down.
I do noticed that he always come home immediately when he finishes his stuff at uni, and rather spend more time with me than some of his friends who did jio him out to go and do something fun. He also prefers eating at home when I cook or sometimes he cooks rather than eating outside. Unless we don't have to the time cook, we will eat out. Not that we are trying to save money, but the food outside doesn't taste the same at home. Though my cooking skills are not that good. :S He do mention that he was afraid that another guy will snatch me away from him one day. I think that's totally silly, but cute at the same time. hmmm...
I know I'm not ugly neither am I very pretty, and I'm going to lose weight for a good reason. I want to look good so that I can wear clothes like spag, tube or halters. Oh, I always think that I look sweet, but am always caucious of what others think of me. So, whenever he jokes around about what I wrote in the past, (I'm really sensitive when people talk about me), I will start to think rubbish and be a "xiao qi gui". He will then laugh and make me laugh again. Then again, of course I will think more of the joke he made than when he made me laugh.
The scars on my cheeks and my eye lids has bother me for a very long time. Yup, even before I left for Melbourne. I also been visiting the salon to do something about the scars. Like some kind of AHA peeling thingy which is suppose to help. But I don't have the time to complete the treatment when I was back home. It was a 6 weeks treatment, and needs at least once a month treatment. I have no idea why I have only multiple eye lids on one eye. But I just didn't care and think why I had those when I was back home. Now, I've been wearing glasses, it effect of the eyelids has been subsiding and the wrinkles on the under eyes has slowly been plumping itself up. Yes, he did comment about these, but I've been trying to get rid of it sometime. I feel as if I want to do more about it this time. Since I also most of the time at home anyway, and mostly doing only assignments and project which seems never ending.
No, I won't buy more jewelleries for myself. I have a lot. Didn't bring all of them with me. I have the one that Pheli gave me, and my pink diamoniate heart one and Wanxin was so sweet to get a friend to pass me her pink lovely necklance. But I just don't wear those all the time. I go to uni only what. Attract who? He says that I already got a boyfriend what. Of course there are times when I feel a little vain, I will wear assessories. I don't put on make up when I going to school at all. I think it's good for the skin. Only like occasions when I'm out for leisure, then maybe a little tint of colour to make myself look prettier a little.
No I'm not spending money on clothes. I think I have enough clothes in my cupboard. These are the clothes he choose for me to pack when he was in Sg for holiday. Of course, I don't wear them all the time. Not practical for school.
Does that clear up a little about my depression? The times I want to die was mainly when I was doing the programming. It's so much work, and yet sometimes, I feel so lonely that no one is helping me at all. I do feel pissed about it, but there's nothing I can do. And he understands that, coz he's in the same situation.
My dear friends, I can't wait to be home to be with you all. I miss home terribly. I miss hanging out with you, chilling at Union Sq. Going Crazy with My hot babe Pheli. I do miss all those. All these, I don't have them here in Melbourne. Even if they have, it's really not as nice if you don't have the right company. I do have friends who are into Swing. But I don't know Swing. And with the stupid assignments, I do not have the time to learn. So Aloy, it's your job to teach me when I'm home.
Oh, I will only be back in December. Will be working on my Industrial Experience Project during my July holidays. Sobz. Hopefully I can go for a short trip maybe around Australia. You all can come and visit me during that period. Though it would be winter then, but I can whip up some of my home cook cooking. Haha, but I can't promise you that it taste as good as my mom's or your mom's! Did I mention that I am made one of two the main programmer in my Industrial Experience? Oh, did I mention to call me programming QUEEN? *grins* *groans*
I love you all my DEAREST FRIENDS. Sorry that I didn't really talk to you. You know the reason why. I know how you guys may feel about this, but know me, I give the situation benefit of the doubt and I will decide later.