Tuesday, January 18, 2005


I'm just in the mood where I don't feel confident about myself at the moment. Perhaps because someone went shopping with pretty girls. Not only that they are pretty, they are tall too.

Am I having an inferior complexity? I really wish that I was taller. But I inherited short genes. I'm not blaming anyone for giving me genes that make me short. I love my Mom. Everyone knows that. Somehow I feel like I'm in tears for things that I shouldn't be tearing for. But I've given so much feelings and put in a lot of effort maintaining somethings.

Sometimes I just wonder why did guys asked me to be their girlfriends? Am I too easy to get? I mean, I do reject some guys too. Am I not good enough?

Maybe I should ask all the girls out there with boyfriends. Why are you eating less because of a guy? My mom always tells me that a person should except you as who you are. I thought all the guys I had were like that. Maybe I am wrong.

As most of you know, I'm already trying very hard to lose weight. But sometimes due to some circumtances, I cannot fulfill the weight lost correctly. And I HATE the gym. And I cannot run, due to old back injury. What am I suppose to do? The only thing that I can do that I like and without injuring myself is through salsa-dancing and swimming. It's quite hard to get these 2 here in Melbourne. And I think salsa dancing might have given my boyfriend a wrong impression. Am trying to either slow down salsa or give salsa a better impression. I mean, no offence to my salsa friend, but you know that there are people in the salsa scene who abused the name of salsa which makes salsa quite a flirtious dance. And you guys know that I love you all.

I wish I'm prettier, taller and slimmer. Maybe I should go for lipo-suction.